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Saturday, September 29, 2007
perhaps its because of overexertion at kbox yesterday, i fell asleep on the sofa at 9plus yesterday! it was the most fun kbox i've ever been to cos the purpose was to fa xie and we sang all the super high(in spirit) songs. four plus hours of singing cum screaming strained my throat but it was nothing but exhilarating. all the results are back except english. have not had a target for any school up till now, but more or less what i get for english does affect the choice. but i dont want to go to any school alone. planned my schedule and hope i'll stick to it. and yes, my blog is gonna go into hibernation again. will see you people, real soon :) jiayou everyone, esp _________ and _______! ni men yi ding xing de. im not good around words, but i hope you receive my blessings and moral support. i can render help anytime! Wednesday, September 26, 2007 最悲哀的時候是你考的不好也不壞的時候. 因為即使你不開心, 你也沒有資格說出來. i am fine. what can i say? b3 is a good grade in my normal days. but b3 is not acceptable, in so called the standard of my class. perhaps, many people in other classes will be thankful to have this grade for chemistry. i am trying hard to think i am from those 'other classes'. because it is not bad, and it is not good, im in a dilemma. i just hope and pray that they moderate. hcl is a goner. i wonder why im so stupid. and i dont understand why the whole world thinks my chinese is super powerful, because it seriously isnt. its another b3, btw. english was a consolation, at least it is a distinction up till now. im gonna pray hard everyday that my paper one will score. please please please. looking at chemistry, i really feel that hard work isnt all that contributes to results. so what if i work hard? i NEVER score. i have placed hopes in biology. but it seems like its gonna be another gone case, considering how i did the paper. i have not let myself down for bio before. i hope this is not an exception. i hope, i hope. have gone bloghopping to some sec4s blogs to see how they're coping with the reviewing of prelims. obviously i went to the 'wrong classes' as they all seemed to make me feel worse. it seems that the whole world is getting distinctions for all subjects up till now. (i shant name that model class haha) reviewing of eoys have never been so torturous until now. why cant they give us the papers back all at once? i dont want to be impacted so hard for three whole days. at least given my character, i'll be fine for each impact after a sleep. to spread it over three days is nothing but hell. whats impt is facing reality now. and dont ask me if im alright. its a taboo question. 每個人都有不同的期望. 所以, 每個人都有失望的權利. Tuesday, September 25, 2007 a day ago i was still saying i felt spiritually well, and today im feeling completely lousy. took mrt home instead, which took a seriously long time considering that i left school at around two and reached home only at four. i enjoyed the solitude though, and indulged in the extra time i have on my hand. let two trains passed by, one at angmokio and one at dhoby ghaut. i didnt know what got to me, but i know im a weird person with weird behaviour. haha. because i reached home at four, by the time i finished eating and bathing it was five. and so i slept... like a log.... till seven thirty :( all the time wasted! and. i didnt do the things i was supposed to. the prelim papers and all. did i mention we're getting back papers from tomorrow onwards till friday? i cant imagine i can already have an inkling what places im eligible for by friday. its very freaky. i have zero confidence. everything is set. theres no chance to work harder with another 120% effort because prelims are over. hope i can get into the jc that is not bad, so i can earn loyalty points! hwachong, njc and temasek poly came today. i was enticed by hwachong once again, and believe it or not, im suddenly pretty interested to be involved in politics! i feel like being part of the government, and i want to sit in that mock parliament... thing. (oh no my memory is failing me. liyi lah!) was also very very VERY tempted by temasek poly's introduction of psychology studies. but my mum will never hear the end of it. ...im still interested!! try hard as i will, some things just cant seem to leave my mind. i would call these thoughts parasites if they were alive. it feels like living hell. i will buck up on friday, once i know how i fare. Monday, September 24, 2007 some people are just. shallow. on a lighter note, this is the first time i didnt cry at the reflections conducted by father simon. as the people in the drama studio looked for their teachers as a representation of anyone they need to thank or apologize to, i just sat in my seat and felt a sense of peace. it was unexplainable. the room was noisy, with many people crying, screaming, hugging. even though i was, i didnt feel alone. i finally know what it means to be spiritually well. and i wasnt sad or emo like some of my friends thought i was! just visited a particular site. i dont want to name, cos i may hurt certain people that i dont want to (erm, even if i was, by them). that was not a retaliatory remark by the way. im just abit... sad. one article i read was absolutely exaggerated?! cos they put up a video and provided a translation for people who didnt understand the language, and they changed lots of meanings in the words used by the people in the video. in the end, the video was translated to seem as if a particular person is undesirable. well i know everyone has their freedom of expression but if a person changes the nature of the meanings in the video to suit his or her attitude towards that person, it's going a bit too far isnt it. why hate someone just because you like another person better? why abuse someone, even if she actually deserved it, just to make yourself feel better? aren't we all taught to love? maybe im easily satisfied. maybe I'M shallow. i like everyone i see in shows. but at least, even if i dont, i will not foresake all efforts put in by that certain someone just to present themselves to the world, to entertain and to inspire. Sunday, September 23, 2007 haha. so late now. guess what im doing? i stole and am playing with my mother's cosmetics. -sees people fainting- im not vain lah ahha. i just want to play with cosmetics! always help ppl put on make up never put for myself mahhh. its true! but i think many people will be like scoffing at the fourth line. watched wo cai. had chen yi ru! hahahhah -gushes- okay. this is a pretty no substance post. shall stop myself. no blogging for the sake of blogging! Friday, September 21, 2007 alright. so its out into the open again. the posts that werent supposed to go public are deleted. haha. i think a few people will anticipate the reopening of my blog to be today. its pretty logical lah, cos free mah. then more things to write lorh. prelims are over. no particular comments to make. like that lorh. the afternoon didnt go wasted after all. my aunt treated me to japanese food, we played two hours of squash and went for sauna! haha. i did not shed any fats by the way :( nvm! it takes time. finally im dated, and i cant go. tomorrow's kbox session! :( hope they enjoy themselves anyway. quiet day home tomorrow? zjyj zjyj :) Thursday, September 20, 2007 was reading my brother's spf(singapore police force) book about some murder cases that the police solved in the past, and felt really awed by them! was even a little inspired and feel like becoming a person from the CID. the stories were real, complete with pictures of the crime scenes, meaning the pictures of corpses and all. was a lil affected at first but was surprised i was still able to eat normally and all hahha(and managed to sleep peacefully too). the way the police never gave up on a case even when many years have passed, the way they never let go of any clue however small (like bus tickets!) and their very accurate instincts have seriously impressed me. hmm. maybe becoming a policewoman is alright :D zjyj is becoming more and more exciting! haha. the way i blog about it in almost every post shows the extent of my craziness. hahah! but not so crazy yet! have been more crazy about e zuo ju (which im gonna lend peiyi tomorrow!) lan ling wang is sooooo shuai! (im suprised i never say dadong. but maybe its because he's still the same and chenyiru improved!) its the last paper tomorrow. people always say that after you finish a paper, you'll more or less know how well you do. but i beg to differ. after every test, and i really mean EVERY, i have no inkling of how i will fare for the paper. probably its because during class tests and all my confidence level was never reflected in my results. i cannot give any prediction at all. so my results are still at an unknown level. i dont want to predict it so soon anyway. looking at my 'target' poster makes me feel some sort of lost hope. well. while many people have activities of their own tomorrow after their paper, i'll be going home alone. lonely freak. no one wants to date me, or they're all taken. pathetic. aye. i've not no money anyway. gotta save up. shall do some math. hope tomorrow's paper is alright. i dont wanna have an even sadder journey home. pardon the self pity. Saturday, September 15, 2007   Thursday, September 13, 2007 got a merit for my flute! happy... :) cos i predicted i'll get a pass! 9pm is my constant motivation everyday, cos i can take a break from mugging and watch zjyj! thats the only hour in the day that i watch tv okay! and from next week onwards, 1030pm on saturdays will be a new motivation! got gong zhu xiao mei... the show is damn cute? saw all the adverts and preludes on it while watching zjyj, think zhang shao han is veh pretty! and im growing more and more to like chen yiru, -gushes- he's getting more shuai! (dreams about the day he offered his hand for me to shake..... ahhhhh~~) prelims up till now. i dont know how to describe it, but its not like a major exam at all. feels like normal tests such that when i screw up the paper, i dont feel any remorse after it. that happened for chem. and geog. :'( amath paper one was alright. but im afraid of paper two. was doing cedar prelim paper and i only knew how to do one question! smart or what :( i bought zjyj soundtrack. i will buy one for charmaine! to compensate for my tardiness in returning harry potter, and going back on my word :( yalun's song is so so so so so nice. although i still like dadong more, i cant deny yalun is the best singer in fahrenheit man! alright. xin xue lai chao ended le. dunno whens the next time i'll blog? Tuesday, September 04, 2007 feels carefree, that i do not have to bother about what others read. what others will think. im slacking like its the december holidays at home. whole day studying population, which is just one meagre chapter. zhong ji yi jia is my constant motivation. or rather, it has become a huge distraction. i love love love a chord! and i love love love xia tian too! han is so cute, by the way. watching the life version makes everything a hundred times more wonderful. i dont know why, i just cannot seem to pick up my books. my notes. my heart. some things are still bugging me. i dont understand why these things will affect me from studying. i have always been able to differentiate impt and small matters, havent i? disappointment, is what i will say. in people. in the world. and especially in myself. Monday, September 03, 2007 things i have to follow. 1. no more cafe cartel for me! 2. no spending of more than $5 each day! 3. no arcade games! (till next week, at least.) 4. two hours of tv each day only. (zhong ji yi jia and shui hu wu jian dao) 5. no using the com until after 1am. 6. no singing while studying. limited to one song per half an hour. 7. no playing with my phone while mugging. 8. stop procrastinating!!!! i need people to wake me up early everyday otherwise i'll just sleep until 12plus and waste three hours away in lalaland. well, considering i slept at 3am yesterday, i shall sleep early today. on a heavier note, maybe i should squeeze in an hour of ss after this. Sunday, September 02, 2007 i was playing tennis on my phone and was on the losing end. i thought to myself. if i win this game, i will do damn badly for Os. i won the game. i will not say such choy things in the future. read readers digest at my cousin's house before going for the big meal(they struck lottery). there was this article about the reader's digest team carrying out an operation saying they placed thirty phones randomly each in 50 plus cities and counted how many were returned. singapore's results are shameful. almost all the cities that were in this operation had at least 70 percent of the phones returned to the team but singapore had only returned 50percent of the phones. i predicted the results. its really disappointing. though the article had a positive note to it, i knew it was to cover up those bad results by emphasizing on cities such as toronto, which returned 93 percent of the phones. is singapore that dishonest? :( anyhow, im studying out tomorrow. there is enough slacking today! no flute, for one reason, which made me feel like i had alot of time hence stoned around the house. the time was spent playing o2jam, singing songs from my phone, singing songs from the radio, singing songs from my mp4, putting up new music onto my blog, blah blah. guilty! i hope tomorrow will be good! i havent been following my schedule closely :( speaking of the song uploaded, its from 終極一家! 謝和絃 is the 鯊魚from終極一班, 大樹from花樣, and A Chord from 終極一家! he's super cute lah! and he's talented! but this version of the song isnt that nice. i prefer he sing it live. hahah! felt amused that my blog has a loyal fan! hahah that person will know who im talking about :D hello! tak cik! planned my exam schedule. hope to stick to it.. was giving a go for optimism. eh. worked for awhile. shant write much, pictures do the talking!  what i put up on my wall.
 the new crab kajiaoing the fake shell :) |
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